I can do it do it do it
smile, smile,smile, I can do it , i can do it, i must do it! i think V notice something, but she wont ask me unless me talk first,its her kind gentle, i appreciate that, but i`m not gonna talk first this time,cause she is like becoming a normal pretty girl mostly focus on themselves, i think she wont notice the different if i can just been "normal" soon, i been crying morning and night for already two days, i hate this but if i dont let it out, its like my heart is overload with bitter water. i just cannot do it anymore! i may never get my laugh back, and i may never get my family back.
no one can save me but myself, accept the fact that my family is falling apart and i can do nothing about it. I guess im wrong, deep down im not ready to see all that happen,but i must adjest myself to it or it will eat me up inside, can i be happy again,no one can understand why im been so hard to let it go , no one can help me on this one, they tell you let it go,they tell you move on,they tell you "reborn", 只是这付残躯教人怎么能重生
why is this hurt so much
the sadness eat the most of me,I can`t live like this anymore,this is killing me, 为什么这种痛苦不能一次痛完，它一点一点吞噬着我, save me save me
如果要存活在这个世界上，她只能掩饰真正的自己，虚弱伤痕累累的自己，不让人发现她大笑之下的大悲。
what is my biggest fear, my biggest fear is all men will end up become my father kind of guy, leave me eventually.
终于明白，原来不会因为是父亲本身就是一个一辈子的承诺， 终于明白，生活不可以不用心经营不可以凑合，不是一个的力量就可以让两个人幸福，两个人的幸福需要两个人的付出，三个人的幸福需要三个人的付出，少一个都不可以，终于明白，原来真的可以一瞬间你以为你拥有的都将离开你了，没有什么是会一辈子不变的，没有什么。
看到以前的日记，“这样短暂的人生，直到我们心中产生了想为另一个人的微笑而努力的愿望，才有意义”，I guess i pick the wrong guy.
he is a jackass
I hate myself like this，sitting here listen BEYONCE and cry like hell，整个IPOD 600首歌，我找不到一首写一个女孩总是被同一个男人抛弃，一次又一次，这个男人是她的beloved dad，my father is a jackass, there, i said it, i wont hurt like this only if i could hate him , the way he treated the family, the way he cheated the family, I just fall in the circle again,hate or love, and i hate it,god, why is this so hard, I left my mom alone with him, a living hell, that`s i would call it, he is a psycho, a truely psycho, a psycho i hate to love and hurt to love to. 我砌一堵墙，把这件事封起来，好了，深呼吸一切都好了。
日记
你就是注定能听见我心里的声音的那个人
这么信仰着
或许不值得一个拥抱 或许永远不会相见
我就是无法停止
谁不希望被爱着的拥抱
谁又能知道我的爱 如果我说不出来
这世界上的每个人是否都有另一个灵魂
是否每个人都有注定的命运
这些都没有关系
你千变万化 我一直寻找你 打算一辈子就这么过
所以如果你听得到 请你大声告诉我
因为我担心这世界会找不到你
可是为什么 谁能告诉我
为什么 听不见 看不见 却感觉这么永恒
我还能走多远 人们通常为了爱的人能走多远
谁来阻挡我 停止我对自己的伤害
只是 如果我停下来 天才知道我能不能活下来
你不需要是完美的 只要你愿意配合我
我不在乎别人怎么说 别人怎么做
我想还是愿意在这个地球上 准备着 一直准备着 等待和你相遇的那天
那天 请你一定大声告诉我 不要错过我 因为我比你更不想错过我们
